whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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