no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just gargled with NyQuil
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
