Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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