I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
