her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
