i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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