8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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