i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
