Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
