Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
