I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
