i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
and she was petting her beer can
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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