the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
