TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
