He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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