Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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