I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
The best revenge is premature balding
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
