Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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