I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
