my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
