I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
