Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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