Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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