I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
