oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he fucked my hip out of place.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
