i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
