Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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