The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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