she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
