wat bout pragnant strippers??
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
