I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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