I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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