i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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