either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
