It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
