You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
