I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
