I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
