Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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