Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
