It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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