Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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