Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
