I'm passing your future prison.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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