i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
