Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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