Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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