make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
