i just wanna soil my oats bro
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
