Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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