just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
